Throughout my survivorship, I’ve had times of pain or loss that caused unpleasant emotions. Especially early in my illness, my husband’s love for me caused him to experience unpleasant emotions, too, because he empathized. In a vicious cycle, my emotional pain caused his motional pain, which exacerbated mine. While grateful for his love and caring, I realized that I—we, really—needed him to put a check on the empathy.
Read moreYou are Invited
You are invited to a free conference on April 12, 2025. Open to all, in-person or virtually. Registration required.
Read moreHad to? The Power of One Word
A one-word substitution changed my mood and outlook so significantly that I had to post about it.
Read moreNobody is Too Young for Cancer
Fact: Nobody is too young for cancer. Alarmingly, America is experiencing a rise in rates of cancer diagnosed in young people. While researchers work to undertstand
Read moreWhen Patients Hide the Ugly Side - Part II
How do you support patients who don’t want to talk about their illness or accept support? To follow up on
Read moreWhen Patients Hide the Ugly Side
What should you do if an ill loved one won’t respond to emails or texts because they want to hide their pain, sadness, debility, weakness? Forcing yourself on them will exacerbate their sense of loss of control. Leaving them alone, well, leaves them alone in their pain, sadness, debility, and weakness—not a good thing.
I’ve been on both sides of this dilemma.
Read moreThe Gifts of Getting Knocked Down
Just days after learning I had cancer, my Rabbi said to me: People find out who they are when knocked down. He could see
Read moreThe Gift of a Side Effect
Out of the blue, I was enjoying a rush of mental clarity and creative juices. Reveling with a dear friend—”This feels so good!”—my next comment solved the mystery:
Read morePrincess Kate on Getting Back to Normal After Cancer
The Princess of Wales told the world via Instagram, “It is a relief to now be in remission, and I remain focused on recovery.” In her first major public statement since Kensington Palace released a video last fall, the Princess talked about completing cancer treatment.
Read moreNo "Thank you" From Your Doctor?
I picked out holiday gifts, wrapped them with care, and then delivered them to my doctors before the holidays. Did I receive any thank-you notes? Nope. And that’s A-okay with me. Here’s why.
Read moreYes or No: Give Your Doctor a Gift?
Some patients give holiday gifts to their doctors, nurses, physical therapists, or other professionals invoved in their health care. Gift-giving is not required or expected. So, should you? Or shouldn’t you?
Read moreA Problem With the Cure Just Around the Corner
Millions of Americans live with diseases with no cure. Diabetes. Parkinsons. MS. Dementia. I imagine many of them experience nice people offering encouraging comments. such as, “I believe they’ll find a cure” or “A cure is just around the corner!” What could be wrong with that?
Read moreAiming for Perfection
When dealing with a health challenge, doing things perfectly will increase your chance of the best possible outcome. For anyone who likes to feel in control (who doesn’t?) and has perfectionist tendencies (ahem, that would include me), the desire to do things perfectly can create problems.
Read moreThe Healing Power of a Chair
Everyone needs a “go” bag to grab in case a medical problem ends up requiring hospitalization. Along with mundane items like a toothbrush, hairbrush, robe, and magazine, consider adding a folding chair.
Read moreManaging Mismatched Love Languages
Someone does something nice for a patient. The patient isn’t happy about it. Tensions rise. The problem may be mismatched love languages.
Read moreAn Ugly Side of Patienthood
My mom’s friend offered me a small tray of cookies. I took one look, and yelled, “No!” The next day, I felt ashamed that I’d bitten the hand of someone treating me with lovingkindness. The episode taught me that illness could make me mean, and I didn’t like that.
I forgave myself but didn’t forget it.
Read moreTruly Informed Consent
When patients are prepped and ready to start a procedure, a medical professional presents a consent form to sign. That setting does not serve the purpose of informed consent. An experience long ago led to a tip to ensure you make truly informed consent before proceeding.
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